Ahoy, mateys! Are you ready to set sail on a laughter-filled adventure with some pirate jokes? Look no further, because we’ve gathered the best, coolest, silliest, cleverest, and most hilarious pirate jokes perfect for kids of all ages. Whether your little ones are 1 or 15 years old, they’ll surely be entertained by these swashbuckling jokes that will bring a smile to even the saltiest of sea dogs!
Best Pirate Jokes for Kids
- What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
- Rrrrrrrrr!
- Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate?
- Because he was standing on the deck!
- How do pirates know that they are pirates?
- They think, therefore they arrrrr!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of music?
- Aarrr ‘n’ B!
- What do pirates like to eat for breakfast?
- Captain Crunch!
- Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the party?
- To reach the high seas!
- How did the pirate ask for the waiter’s attention?
- “Aye, aye, matey!”
- What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
- Arrrrrt class!
- What do you get when you cross a pirate with a Smurf?
- A blue buccaneer!
- How does a pirate make his tea?
- On the sea, with leaves!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?
- A swordfish!
- Why did the pirate put his money in the blender?
- Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
- Why are pirates great singers?
- Because they can hit the high seas!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?
- The plank!
- How does a pirate keep his sword sharp?
- He uses a steel matey!
Cool Pirate Jokes for 1-5 Year Old Kids
- What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?
- A beginner!
- Why did the pirate bring a mop to the party?
- Because he wanted to clean up the deck!
- How does a pirate ask for his treasure in a polite way?
- “May I have some booty, please?”
- Why are pirates so good at reading?
- What’s a pirate’s favorite toy?
- A yaarrrrrrdstick!
- How does a pirate count his gold coins?
- One, two, three, many, lots!
- Why did the pirate go to school?
- To improve his “aarr” grade!
- What do pirates wear on their heads?
- A bob-arr!
- Why do pirates never eat sushi?
- Because it’s rawrrrrr!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of socks?
- Arrrrgyle!
- How did the pirate celebrate his birthday?
- With a pARRRty!
- What do pirates say before eating?
- “Let’s dig in, mateys!”
- Why did the pirate go to the doctor?
- He was feeling a little seasick!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a computer?
- The “arrr” key!
- How does a pirate like his hamburgers cooked?
- Well done, matey!
Silly Pirate Jokes for 5-10 Year Old Kids
- What did the pirate say to his parrot when it flew away?
- “Come back, Polly! Shiver me timbers, I didn’t mean it!”
- How do pirates communicate with each other?
- With shell phones!
- Why did the pirate carry a treasure map in his pocket?
- Because it was too big to carry under his hat!
- What do you call a pirate who skips class?
- Captain Hooky!
- How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?
- An arm and a leg!
- Why did the pirate use a calendar at sea?
- To keep track of all the dates he’s been on!
- What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
- “Shiver me timbers!”
- Why did nobody invite the pirate to the birthday party?
- Because he’s always the party pooper!
- What do pirates wear to sleep?
- PajAAARGHmas!
- Why did the pirate go to school?
- To improve his “arrrrr-ticulation”!
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag so cheap?
- He bought it on sail!
- Why did the pirate take a shower?
- He wanted to wash up on shore!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise move?
- The plank!
- How did the pirate feel when he turned 80?
- A little “aarr-thritic”!
- Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar?
- He heard the drinks were on the house!
Clever Pirate Jokes for 10-15 Year Old Kids
- What’s a pirate’s favorite data structure?
- An arrrrrray!
- Why did the pirate go to the Apple Store?
- To find his “iPatch”!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite social media platform?
- SnapARRRRchat!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite programming language?
- Python, because it has its own “pirate” library!
- Why did the pirate become a chef?
- To measure the “cups” of the sea!
- How do pirates make their money?
- They invest in “bAAAR” stocks!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite type of clothing?
- SwashBuckler jeans!
- Why did the pirate’s phone take up photography?
- It wanted to capture the best “shots” of the sea!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite math problem?
- Pi-R-Arrrrrr squared!
- How do pirates write their speeches?
- They use “treasure” troves of persuasive language!
- Why did the pirate give up on being a stand-up comedian?
- He couldn’t get his jokes to “hook” the audience!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite science subject?
- Chemistry, because it’s all about finding the “right mix”!
- Why did the pirate go to the art museum?
- To admire the masterpieces of the “great paint-ARRRRs”!
- What do pirates use to manage their schedule?
- A pirAAArr-istic calendar!
- Why did the pirate attend the music concert?
- He wanted to listen to some ARRRR&B!
Hilarious Knock Knock Pirate Jokes for Kids
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Arrr!
- Arrr who?
- Arrr you ready for some pirate jokes?
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Peg.
- Peg who?
- Peg leg, matey! Avast ye!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Bounty.
- Bounty who?
- Bounty the cannonballs, we’re going to have a blast!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Ship.
- Ship who?
- Ship ahoy, landlubber!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Matey.
- Matey who?
- Matey, open the door and let me in!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Hook.
- Hook who?
- Hook me up with a funny joke, will ye?
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Squawk.
- Squawk who?
- Squawk ye not, I’m just a parrot passing by!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Doubloon.
- Doubloon who?
- Doubloon your fun with a pirate joke today!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cannon.
- Cannon who?
- Cannonball through the door, me hearties!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Sailor.
- Sailor who?
- Sailor ya later, matey!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Jolly.
- Jolly who?
- Jolly Roger, the most famous pirate flag!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Booty.
- Booty who?
- Booty-ful treasure awaits ye on this joke adventure!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Skull.
- Skull who?
- Skull me hearties, for a tale of pirate jokes!
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Scurvy.
- Scurvy who?
- Scurvy dog, ye better laugh at this joke!
- Knock, knock
- Who’s there?
- Pieces.
- Pieces who?
- Pieces of eight, the legendary pirate treasure!
Story Pirate Jokes for Kids
- Once upon a time, there was a pirate who loved to tell jokes. One day, he stood on the ship’s deck and shouted, “What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?” The crew eagerly awaited the punchline. The pirate smirked and said, “Choco-chip, because it’s a ship-load of deliciousness!”
- Captain Blackbeard and his crew were sailing the seas when they spotted another ship in the distance. Excitedly, they approached it and shouted, “Are ye willing to trade?” The other captain smirked and replied, “Arrr, we’re not interested in any trades. We’re a band of merry jokers, and we’re just here to tickle your funny bone!”
- Little pirate Tommy was practicing his sword fighting skills when his friend asked, “Why are pirates so good at fencing?” Tommy grinned and replied, “Because they’re always ready to parrrrrry!”
- Captain Kidd, the bravest pirate on the seven seas, called his crew together and asked, “Why did the pirate go to school?” The crew pondered for a moment before one pirate chimed in, “To improve his ‘arrrrr-ticulation’, Captain!”
- Long John Silver and his crew were searching for treasure when they stumbled upon a cave. Curious, Long John entered cautiously, followed by his crew. As they peered inside, Long John exclaimed, “I spy with me little eye, something shiny and gold!” One of the crew members asked, “What be it, Captain?” Long John grinned and said, “Pirate booty, me hearties!”
- Captain Redbeard paced back and forth on the ship, deep in thought. Suddenly, he shouted, “Why did nobody invite the pirate to the birthday party?” The crew exchanged confused glances until one pirate replied, “Because he’s always the party pooper, Captain!” Everyone burst into laughter, including Captain Redbeard himself.”
Key Takeaways
Pirate jokes bring a sense of fun and adventure to kids of all ages. From the youngest buccaneers to teenagers, these jokes cater to different age groups and tickle their funny bones. With a wide range of witty punchlines, clever wordplay, and knock-knock jokes, children can enjoy the excitement, humor, and whimsy inspired by the pirate theme. This collection of pirate jokes provides an entertaining way for kids to engage with language, humor, and creative thinking. So, gather your crew, set sail, and embark on a laughter-filled journey with these delightful pirate jokes for kids!